Contagious Compassion

Hello!
I’ve been needing to post something here, but the end of 2019 and first bit of 2020 has been a whirlwind. With the globe being affected by Coronavirus (COVID-19), it’s difficult to know what to say or exactly how to best invest my energy. At the time of this blog, we have no idea what’s going to happen in the US and that’s unsettling. All most of us can do is try to prepare, keep ourselves clean, and follow the best advice of the day. And then….? We Wait.

Waiting is hard. Not knowing what is to come or what to do is very difficult. Most of us were operating under the comforting illusion that our tomorrow was guaranteed. There are some in the world who have never had that luxury. Before this viral threat, they knew good health was to be treasured. Some haven’t slept with the feeling that tomorrow’s basic needs (food, shelter, physical safety, etc.) would be met. Many people live with this sort of uncertainty over the course of their entire lives.

In the US, we’re being introduced to the term “social distancing.” This is a new concept for us. It feels extreme. But even those who are quarantined have social connection via technology. And yet, I still see articles encouraging people to reach out and check in on each other because this reduced amount of social interaction is extremely stressful for human beings.

These articles spark two reactions in me. The first is the thought, “Good. That’s healthy. I’m glad people are bringing attention to this issue.” The second is frustration. There are some who have lived in extreme social isolation for decades: disabled people, their primary caregivers, and the elderly are the first few examples that immediately spring to mind. Where were those articles before the outbreak of COVID- 19?

One of the most toxic habits we fall into is that of assumption. People tend to assume that Everyone has Someone. Most think those who identify as introverts do not want to be around people at ALL. That’s not true. For introverts, socializing gives energy and it drains energy. They have to find that sweet spot and bail out of the gathering right before the scales tip, or they get too much socialization and become exhausted. That’s a hard scale to balance. Over time, introverts are likely to put themselves on a sort of “social diet” to compensate.

The public assumes that autistic people are all introverts. (That erroneous line of logic doesn’t wash for other diagnosed disabilities.) People with social, mobility and/or communication challenges, are put on a more restrictive “social diet” but not necessarily one of their choosing. They are the reason I wrote The Insiders Club. I wanted to shine a light on people who come across as “different,” and help alleviate the symptoms of rejection, loneliness, and isolation. I’m thrilled that many have read the story and found it to be a meaningful experience. I promise to write a more personal Author Life focused blog soon, but this feels more important to me at the moment.

I wish it didn’t take a pandemic to start this conversation on a broader level. Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting you break with your region’s current strategies to reduce the spread of this virus and knock on doors of all the people you realize have been ignored. Rather, I’m asking that we reflect on what’s happening, notice the changes that are being made, and consider: Can any of what we’re learning right now benefit those who have been routinely overlooked? We’re canceling holiday celebrations and altering social customs at this time. I can’t tell you how many autistic people (and their immediate families) who are not invited to family holiday gatherings or weren’t participating in most social customs anyway.

Life and Business-As-Usual have been needing an overhaul. (Although this is a terrible way to realize it.) Perhaps more disabled people who were told they couldn’t have work-from-home jobs could be offered employment opportunities? Maybe we can remember that there is an increased cost in having things delivered that disabled people pay all of the time because they can’t go out. When push comes to shove, we’re proving right now that lots of changes Can be made. We can become more mindful and appreciative. And we can and should make life more inclusive.

And that’s a message that I hope will resonate and create ideas that will carry on and on and on and on….
Stay well. Wash Your Hands. Germ-free Hugs.
;-)
-Echo